Blatant Pandering

by The Doubleclicks

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    Welcome to "Blatant Pandering," the ALL NERDY 5-song EP by The Doubleclicks, released during PAX 2011. I hope you enjoy these songs about D&D, superpowers, Jurassic Park, Cthulu and cosplay.
    --
    About the EP:
    About the tracks:
    This Fantasy World, also known as the Dungeons and Dragons song, is off of our album "Beta Testing 1-2-3."
    Worst.Superpower.Ever, Hollywood Raptor and No Easy Way (the Cthulu song) are songs we wrote for our song-a-week project. This is the first "studio" recording of these songs, and the first recordings ever with Aubrey on them!
    Spock Impersonator is another one of our song-a-weeks. This is the first "studio" recording of Spock Impersonator, and is also a SPECIAL EXTENDED EDITION.
    --
    Please give us your e-mail address if you'd like to be kept in the loop about other things we do, listen to our other albums and check out our Song-a-week project on YouTube!
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about

An album of our geekiest of songs.

credits

released August 25, 2011

Album art by Brad Jonas.
soyourlifeismeaningless.com

All songs by Angela and Aubrey Doubleclick.
Angela on guitar and ukulele and lead vocal, Aubrey on cello and harmonies.
This Fantasy World was recorded by Jake Kelly at Materials To Outlet studio in Portland, OR for Beta Testing 1-2-3.

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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about

The Doubleclicks Portland, Oregon

The Doubleclicks are a pair of Portland-based sisters who sing about Dungeons and Dragons, Mr. Darcy, and Dinosaurs.
The Doubleclicks' clever brand of nerdy folk music has been called "relentlessly likable" and "face-meltingly wry."
Their fans tend to be software developers, writers and their loved ones, as well as anyone who loves Star Trek, grammar, dinosaurs or video games.
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Track Name: Spock Impersonator (extended)
he had the shiniest of hair
and he walked into the room with an authoritative air
his carefully shaped eyebrows so severe
and you could barely even tell where the prosthetics met his ears

I fell in love with a Spock impersonator
from his ears down to his phaser and his sweet communicator
thought my search for love was at an end
but being highly logical did not make him a very good boyfriend

When I first saw his furrowed brow
I knew the ideal man had come and found me somehow
I mean, what else could I think
When he looked me in the eyes and told me prune juice is a warriors drink

I fell in love with a Worf impersonator
from his forehead to his baldric and his badge communicator
I thought my search for love was at an end
but being strong and angry did not make him a very good boyfriend
--
Oh why did I come to this con
this day has been nothing but a rollercoaster of emotion
I don't have the time or money to wait in line for leonard nimoy
but look over here! what an interesting boy…

I fell in love with a Q impersonator
which seemed like a bad idea even 30 minutes later
I thought my search for love was at an end
but he transported me to another dimension and played psychological games with me and my friends.
Track Name: Worst.Superpower.EVER.
would you rather have flight or invisibility?
Would you rather be a brave blind man with the ability to see
would you like to be able to rapidly change size
or would you rather be able to squirt blood out of your eyes

that would be the worst superpower ever
the worst superpower ever
that would be the worst superpower ever

would you rather stop time, or never need to breathe
would you rather have your one weakness to be a really well-known thing
what if you were lactose intolerant but could make things taste like cheese?
or if you had the power to induce a slight fatigue.

that would be the worst superpower ever
the worst superpower ever
that would be the worst superpower ever

would you rather have an extra hand or run real fast and far
or would you like to be really rich and drive an awesome car
would you rather be able to create an invisible chair?
or the ability to always predict what someone else will wear

that would be the worst superpower ever
the worst superpower ever
that would be the worst superpower ever
Track Name: Hollywood Raptor
You're not the right shape
and you're not the right size
you don't get along with others
but you need to realize

That the actors in the movies
are not what you're sposed to be
but you are great the way you are
you are you, that's best, you see

We've all been looking for role models
and turned our eyes to hollywood
but that's not where to find them
look to yourself, yes, that is good

It's ok.. velociraptor
don't be sad.. velociraptor

you're the size of a turkey not a lion
you can't turn a know and don't have friends to rely on
the movies have created an unattainable expectation
the raptors in those films were an fictional creation

don't judge yourself too hard velociraptor
you are good the way you are velociraptor
Track Name: No Easy Way To Say This
You've made a generous offer and I wish I could accept it
But I'm afraid to say you've asked me on imperfect information
I'm a danger to you and others and while I'd love to be your girlfriend
There is something you should know that introduces complications

There's no easy way to say this
but I think that I'm a vampire
My teeth are getting pointy and I stay up late at night
I don't think that you could take it
if I turned into a vampire
so you'll have to find a different date to prom.

I have mixed feelings about this entire situation
Now that I know what's happening I do feel some relief
I hate to have to hurt you, but I know that you will thank me
when my horrific and powerful transition is complete

There's no easy way to say this
but I think that I'm a zombie
I'm feeling rather sluggish and getting bored with normal food
I don't think that you could take it
if I turned into a zombie
so you'll have to find a different date to prom.

You might think that there's a different explanation
for these symptoms in a normal phenomenon
You may say that I'm getting strange ideas
from the books I read or forums I post on
But those are your excuses
Crazy stories you come up with because you're scared
This relationship is over
I can't be with you; you should give thanks that you've been spared

There's no easy way to say this
but I think that I'm Cthulu
I am longing for the ocean and so very very tired
I don't think that you could take it
if I turned into cthulu
so you'll have to find a different date to prom.
please just ask a different girl to prom