Dimetrodon

by The Doubleclicks

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about

Dimetrodon is the third studio album by the Doubleclicks, full of songs written for the Internet and about love, games, food and prehistoric creatures.

This album was produced by Mike Phirman and The Doubleclicks.

credits

released June 10, 2014

Dimetrodon by The Doubleclicks was produced by Mike Phirman and the Doubleclicks.
This amazing album art was all done by Kris Straub.
The enclosed poster was created by Lar DeSouza.

The Doubleclicks, also known as Angela and Aubrey Webber, thank you for buying their CD. They wrote the songs for this album, engineered most of the sessions and performed vocals, cello, guitar and keyboard cat. The song “Working For Me” was written from the perspective of Angela’s ex-boyfriend; that information may help you understand the song more. Some of these songs are true, many are not.

Bass, keyboards, background vocals and many other things were performed and programmed by Mike Phirman, who also mixed this album, with the following exceptions:
Stephen Webber produced, mixed, performed piano on “Where Did You Go,” played guitar on “Dimetrodon” and mixed “Dimetrodon” and “Ennui.”

Eban Schletter played theremin on “Godzilla.” Jason Charles Miller played guitar on “Working for Me.” Brent Davis played banjo on “Cats and Netflix.” Orchestral arrangement on "Where Did You Go" conceived and executed by Vanessa Garde. Chris Wainwright engineered the piano recording session for “Where Did You Go.” Editing and additional mixing by Ian Kagey.

Live tracks were recorded at Norwescon in Seattle by John Seghers and mixed by Aubrey Webber.
Aubrey Webber mixed “Wonder” and “Internet Troll.”
Jonathan Wyner mastered this album.

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about

The Doubleclicks Portland, Oregon

The Doubleclicks are a pair of Portland-based sisters who sing about Dungeons and Dragons, Mr. Darcy, and Dinosaurs.
The Doubleclicks' clever brand of nerdy folk music has been called "relentlessly likable" and "face-meltingly wry."
Their fans tend to be software developers, writers and their loved ones, as well as anyone who loves Star Trek, grammar, dinosaurs or video games.
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Track Name: Cats and Netflix
I'm giving up on certain things, like bicycles and gardening
And walking to the grocery store
Because the rain has started in my city, and though the greenery is pretty
It's not enough to get me out the door

'Tis the season now of grey and brown, of giving up and sitting down,
And layering and wooly socks
I'm celebrating solitude and eating soup instead of food
And never walking more than seven blocks

'Cause I've got cats, and I've got Netflix
I've got games, and I've got snack mix
And I am gonna stay indoors for 4 or 5 months or more

I'll have several 5-blanket nights, forget to buy my Christmas flights
And procrastinate Halloween
And as a consolation prize for heavy clouds that fill the skies
There's pumpkin spice in everything

Every morning it gets darker out; I'm gonna wear these markers out
With all these lists of things I'll never do
And when my motivation's gone, I'll order snacks from Amazon
And try to knit a scarf for you

'Cause I've got cats, and I've got Netflix
I've got games, and I've got snack mix
And I am gonna stay indoors for 4 or 5 months or more

(Cat keyboard solo)

'Cause we've got cats, and we've got Netflix
We've got games, and we've got snack mix
And we are gonna stay indoors for 4 or 5 months or more

We've got cats, and we've got Netflix
We've got games, and we've got snack mix
And we are gonna stay indoors for 4 or 5 months or more
Track Name: Unstoppable Force
I'm a train traveling at 2a + x
Got a cargo of nothing except my effects
my track isn't laid yet, my plan is still blurry
but I'm moving too fast to remember to worry

you're a train at point y and you have been for years
held in one spot by your justified fears
you have some wisdom, trajectory notes
But I don't recall ever seeking your vote, no

You are not my source
I am not your project
cause I'm an unstoppable force
and you're an immovable object
I'm an unstoppable force
and you're an immovable object

I'm a train tumbling and making mistakes
but my choices are mine, and that's why I have brakes
collisions, reversals, I keep scraping by
I'd rather be wrong than forget how to try

I'm a train trying to find my own way
you've got a lot of trite nonsense to say
there are things that I do, you think should be addressed
and you say the word proud when you should say impressed

Please get off your horse
This is not your project
cause I'm an unstoppable force
and you're an immovable object
I'm an unstoppable force
and you're an immovable object

You've got tips on locations You've been there before
You think I shouldn't be on my own anymore
I don't want your tips, I don't care that they're free
you've been around, but you've never been me

I'm a train exiting all of known space
your track's in circles inside that old rat race
I don't know where I'm going, though I certainly care
If I win or I fail I hope you aren't there

if you were creative, productive, or smart
if you demonstrated you knew how to art
I would listen, but you barely leave your own station
You've only got mass, I have acceleration

Find your own darn course
You are off this project
cause I'm an unstoppable force
and you're an immovable object
I'm an unstoppable force
and you're an immovable object
Track Name: Dimetrodon
When I wake up on the wrong side of the planet
And the creamer for my coffee has gone bad
And the people on the streets should really can it
'Cause I don't think they would like me when I'm mad

Down at the bottom, I have a secret trick
I have a thing to bring me up when I am low
It is simple, it's easy, and it's real quick
And it went extinct two hundred million years ago

Dimetrodon
They ate sharks and were 10 feet long
Dimetrodon
It's a thought that I can count on

When my darkest thoughts have got a hold on me
I close my eyes and I remember all their giant teeth
To shake off all the problems I have piled on
I picture the sail-backed giants of Dimetrodon

I am walking in a mall or in an airport
And I'm filling up with loneliness and fear
Like I'm not really a member of this species
And I don't think I am special, I'm just weird

When I am feeling this, one thing can make me smile
There are other folks who never quite fit in
They're kind of mammals but they look like reptiles
But I bet that difference never bothered them

Dimetrodon
They ate sharks and were 10 feet long
Dimetrodon
It's a thought that I can count on

When my darkest thoughts have got a hold on me
I close my eyes and I remember all their giant teeth
To shake off all the problems I have piled on
I picture the sail-backed giants of Dimetrodon

Be yourself
Count on your inner strength
Find your people
Hunt the weak

Dimetrodon
Dimetrodon
Dimetrodon
Track Name: Ennui (On We Go)
It's wonderful to be young
We don't have money, but we still have fun
The night doesn't start till about 3:30
Go to the club, or go to the party

You don't like people and you don't wanna go
But your friends are here and you forgot to say "no"
So put on mascara so you look awake
Try to be social till you need a break

There is no reason
This shouldn't be fun
There's excitement
In the air

We have our whole lives
We have our freedom
I don't care
I don't care

Ennui
Ennui
On we go
On our own

Ennui
Ennui
On we go
On our own

Wake up in the afternoon, feeling like "why?"
You could get up, or you could just cry
Your friends are happy and you are bitter
Gettin' jealous when you look at Twitter

You don't wanna shower so you stay in bed
Refresh your mail and get in your head
Try to get motivated; tell yourself lies like
"You would be happy if you got exercise"

It's the weekend
You should see your friends
Anyone
Anywhere

Should you go out?
Or should you stay in?
I don't care
I don't care

Ennui
Ennui
On we go
On our own
Track Name: Where Did You Go?
Where did you go, my friend?
Where did you go all day?
You know that I don't take it well
When people go away

Where did you go?
And why did you abandon me?
Where did you go?
Please tell me what I did to make you leave
I thought that we were friends
I don't want you to leave again
And so I planned a speech to give to you
The moment you got home
Here I go

Ruff, ruff, ruff
Where, oh where did you go?
I didn't have you here
To throw the ball or scratch my ears
So I sat here and I licked various parts of me
Ruff, ruff, ruff

Where did you go? You left today without a trace
And I know because I checked
So if you're wondering it's just because I missed you so
That your bedroom is a wreck
I sat here and I cried and I waited
I took a nap and had a snack and I debated
How long I'd have to dig
To bury stuff under the carpet
And I planned the things I'd say when you got home
Oh, home

Ruff, ruff, ruff
Where, oh where did you go?
I didn't have you here
To throw the ball or scratch my ears
So I sat here and I licked various parts of me
Ruff, ruff, ruff

Ruff, ruff
Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff
Bow-wow
Track Name: Wonder
Leaving home for the first time
You never knew that deals could be so dirty
Never seen so many lies
People hurting out from the inside

You have the strength to save us
You have the power to know right from wrong
Spread the truth and set the unsteady
Men in dark suits tell you people aren't ready

You're not a quitter. You still believe
The truth's in your lasso, your heart's on your sleeve
When we're drowning in darkness, you'll save us all from going under
And we'll watch you in wonder

Welcome to the dirty world
Where they will tell you being strong's not for girls
They'll say that your value's being easy on the eyes
Crush those people to death with your thighs

Men in power aren't who you care about
The city's pain stops when you bring the truth out
Though your sisters will tell you mankind can't be saved
You know that inside the weak can be brave

And you're not a quitter. You still believe
The truth's in your lasso, your heart's on your sleeve
When we're drowning in darkness, you'll save us all from going under
And we'll watch you in wonder

When they send you away, you know they'll never forget
And you'll hover above in your invisible jet
When they finally want you, they'll call you back down
Pull on your hot pants and put on your crown

You're not a quitter. You still believe
The truth's in your lasso, your heart's on your sleeve
And when we're drowning in darkness, you'll save us all from going under
And we'll watch you in wonder
Track Name: Internet Troll
You were told, back in the day,
If you don't have anything nice to say to keep quiet.
Don't be a jerk, don't devalue the work
Someone's done, even if you don't like it

I was told, back in the day,
You can judge a man by the way that he treats others
To find someone nice; there is all this advice
So a girl doesn't find herself being used

But both you and I resist control
And neither of us did the things we were told, and

I love you, even though you are an Internet troll
There's something about you that I want to know
It's the way that you write, so offensive and trite
With such passion; it's sort of appealing

I love you, even though you're a commenter from Hell
The predictable way you don't know how to spell
And you're hateful, disgusting, ungrateful
Like you don't understand other people have feelings

I feel like you don't even know
If you don't enjoy a YouTube video
You can stop it. You don't have to watch it.
Your ignorance is just amazing.

It seems like you've never heard
That if media doesn't speak your words
You can make something new, express your view
It's a delight how you're so darn lazy

The Internet makes you feel so empowered
You almost forget you're a stupid coward

I love you, even though you are an Internet troll
Online you've got no self-control
And the things that you say aren't OK
Even when you're anonymous at a distance

I love you even though you're a commenter from Hell
The magical way you get angry so well
And so quickly, you're zero to 60
But I've got admire your persistence

We were told, back in the day
That if someone's a bully that's because they
Are sad with themselves, they're broken and need help
And they put others down so that they feel better

And yes, that is true
I know you are hateful because you completely lack value
But I still like you
I bet you'd know how to fix my computer

It makes you happy when others are sad
It's cute how you blame the world for making you feel bad

I love you even though you are an Internet troll
Even though you're deeply sad and alone
And you're mean. You act like you're thirteen
Boy, you do wonders for my self-esteem
Track Name: Working For Me
I’m not very nice
I don’t wash my hair
I won’t come to your place when your parents are there

I won’t call you back
I’ll make fun of your friends
And after date two I won’t bring flowers again

But girl, how could you go?
I’m so charming and sensitive everyone knows
And babe, I know you won’t leave
I’ve got the best trick of all time up my sleeve

It’s not hard to play guitar
But it’s working for me
Yeah, it’s working for me

It’s not hard to play guitar
But it’s working for me
Yeah, it’s working for me

If we have a fight
And I happen to lose
I will turn off my phone and run away from you

I’ll probably cheat on you
More than two times
But I’ll win you back with some torturèd rhymes

And girl, I know it will work
When I make you feel special, you forget I’m a jerk
And your friends think that you scored
'Cause your boyfriend can almost play three different chords

It’s not hard to play guitar
But it’s working for me
Yeah, it’s working for me

It’s not hard to play guitar
But it’s working for me
Yeah, it’s working for me

I'm using you for your meal plan and all
But Baby, you are my Wonderwall
You probably should leave me; I'm just made of slime
But I can't talk now, girl; it's closing time
It is closing time

(nanananana)
I wrote you a song (This is it.)
(nanananana)
Can we go to your place?
(nanananana)
Track Name: Tabletop (featuring Adam Warrock)
(We're gonna be on TableTop this week, so we wrote a song to celebrate.)

Yeah, your friend Wil, he’s got a beard and a show
It’s TableTop; he makes it with our buddy Bo.
We were minding our business when they called us one day—
Said, “We want you on the show! Do you wanna come play?”

Well, yes, of course, but we’ve gotta brush up
We’re behind on games and we don’t wanna look rough
How do we practice? Aubrey says: “I know,
We’ll play every game they’ve ever played on the show”

And we did. We played them, and we played them again.
And we’re ready for anything, so bring it on, friend
'Cause we know these board games from A to Z
And you can bring your best, but you won’t beat the DCs

We’re playin' TableTop games
Who’s ready for some TableTop games?

You wanna try Tsuro? We’ll wipe the floor with you
And in Munchkin we’ll kick down a door with you
“What’s next?” it’s Get Bit by Dave Chalker
You’ll lose so many limbs that you’ll fit in a locker

You’ll want a Ticket to Ride out of this room
When we’re racking up points in Keith Baker’s Gloom
Hey, that Elder Sign’s broken; bro, can you fix it?
It should say we crushed you at Dixit

And Small World: you thought this would be fun?
Our skills are so rad, we could win in round one
You have Alhambra; did you bring Zombie Dice?
We don’t need to cheat but we won’t play nice, 'cuz

We’re playin' TableTop games
Who’s ready for some TableTop games?

When we’re done playing Settlers of Catan
You'll forget how to pronounce "Carcassonne"
Castle Panic? That’s co-op, for us that’s a cage
We’d rather send you back to the Dragon Age

It’s a Fiasco. You can cry or Say Anything
It's the Last Night On Earth and we’re in it to a win a thing.
It’s a Pandemic. I’d Wager your Wits are weak
If you think you’re ready to step to Chez Geek.

We’re playin' TableTop games
Who’s ready for some TableTop games?

Doubleclicks, why you doin' this
Taking a good friendship and ruining it
Man, I thought I was cool with this
Deckbuilding, role playing, and I’m rolling some dice
They made me bet all my money, and made me pledge my life

Because I showed up with Monopoly
When Angela and Aubrey gave me an instruction book and a glossary
And I guess I lost, see, that’s what they’re telling me
So never mess with the Double-C’s at the double T, it’s trouble see

(Oh, honey. That was only Season 1.)

Once upon a time you thought you could win
But now you’re Smashed Up—that’s a game by Paul Peterson
Let’s get you rested up and Qwirkle in you
And check your Resistance on games for Season 2

There are shadows over Camelot and Tsuro in the Seas
And we are the ones with the Fortune and Glory
Takenoko time, we’ll eat your bamboo
And in Formula D, a winner’s not you

How about King of Tokyo, do you like Japan?
I think you’ll find for you, it’s a Forbidden Island
Star Wars X-Wing and Star Trek Catan
Lords of Vegas and Waterdeep, just bring it right on

'Cause in 12 Days you’ll be blabbin' Unspeakable Words
By my friends James and Mike, some of my favorite nerds
You wanna be our friend too? I don’t think that you will
When you’re getting Betrayed at the House on the Hill

We’re playin' TableTop games
Who’s ready for some TableTop games?

So we got to the studio, time to make TV
They have lights, they’ve got cameras, and my sister and me
And we played a game! So how did it go?
I guess you’ll have to watch the episode if you wanna know

We’re playin' TableTop games
Who’s ready for some TableTop games?

We’re playin' TableTop games
Who’s ready for some TableTop?
Track Name: Godzilla
Leaves grow on the trees each spring
And in winter fall to the ground again
If I were a leaf, I'd grow on a tree
If you were a leaf then you would dump me.

There's nothing wrong with me; you just broke my heart
Now hold me close so I don't fall apart

There's a perfect metaphor for what you did to me:
You are the changing seasons; I'm a guy in shorts heading for the sea
You are a thunder cloud and I'm an outdoor wedding with a nonrefundable fee
You are Godzilla, baby... and I'm just me

There's nothing wrong with me; you just broke my heart
Now hold me close so I don't fall apart

You took my heart to Goodwill and you left it outside
You put my love in a farm upstate
You took my heart to the park and you told it to hide
With no plans to seek it; that's great
And now I'm ready
Ready to destroy you

There's nothing wrong with me; you just broke my heart
Now hold me close so I don't punch your face
Track Name: Love You Like A Burrito
You are cool and smart and nice
You’re the beans to my rice
You don’t have to ask me twice
I love you so much
I love you like a burrito

oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh

Ask me about my favorite stuff
It's not mean and it's not tough
It should be easy to be in love
I love you so much
I love you like a burrito

oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh

Like a space-age food pod made of magic and dreams
I'm a happy girl because I have you on my team

I like candy and I like wine
I like it that you are mine
You are sweet and you are fine
I love you so much
I love you like a burrito

oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh

A tortilla is a hug made out of flour
I want to see your face every single hour