about

The Doubleclicks Portland, Oregon

The Doubleclicks are a pair of Portland-based sisters who sing about Dungeons and Dragons, Mr. Darcy, and Dinosaurs.
The Doubleclicks' clever brand of nerdy folk music has been called "relentlessly likable" and "face-meltingly wry."
Their fans tend to be software developers, writers and their loved ones, as well as anyone who loves Star Trek, grammar, dinosaurs or video games.
... more

shows

contact / help

Contact The Doubleclicks

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Track Name: Uncle Geek's House (Demo)
let's all go to Uncle Geeks house
where we all get pie at 3:14
we don't have to go on camping trips
we can stay inside and read

come with me to Uncle Geek's house
where the floors are cables laid in rows
the walls are made of circuit boards
and the food is 1s & 0s

when we're with our Uncle Geek
we know that being cool means being brainy
books are great and code is good;
and fun isn't ruined if it is rainy

when we get to Uncle Geek's house
he'll be waiting for us to arrive
he'll first give us a great big hug
and then a password for the wifi

when it's time to go to sleep
we'll get a bedtime story from Uncle Geek
about Billy, Steve and Steve
and the very first PCs

when we are at Uncle Geek's house
we can listen to Weird Al all day
we measure pizza with a protractor
and wish we didn't have to go away
Track Name: A Song about EVE Online (Demo)
Everything was perfect for a while
Even after 23 months you still made me smile
We had plans to celebrate our anniversary
That was the day
You started playing EVE

It looks almost too boring to be real
How would you get hooked on that "spreadsheets in space" feel
After 24 straight hours, I knew the tales were true
You'd never stop
having mining to do

Oh oh oh… you're playing Eve
A MMO so complex and with so much to achieve
It's hard to compete with a universe so great
and broad and deep - but I can wait…

We will make it through, I know we will
We've survived Minecraft, Halo and Dwarf Fortress and Farmville
I'lltry not to be jealous of your space combat affair
And I'll use Isk
to show you that I care

Oh oh oh… you're playing Eve
Set a skill to train and tell your friends you have to leave
Warp away from them and come to my world for a while
I need help with my 14-day free trial
Track Name: Oh, Mr. Darcy (Demo)
When I was first learning of love as a teenager
one source gave me all my ideas and theories
Jane Austen's masterpiece book Pride and Prejudice
actually- the lifetime TV mini-series

oh that mr. Darcy, so gruff and so distant
with a sensitive spirit just waiting to shine
there's a reason for that cliche that women love jerks
it seems like such a good idea at the time

-
Oh oh oh Mr. Darcy
oh oh oh colin firth
you're tall dark and hansom
you're charming and wonderful
No other men are worth half what you're worth
-
When I was 19 I traveled to europe
to study and learn and go clubbing and drink
there was a cute boy in my history lessons
who hailed from near london and mostly ignored me

Of course I fell for him and his charming voice
his detachment and rudeness got me in a snap
he finally noticed me at the end of semester
took me on one date and treated me like crap

-
Oh oh oh Mr. Darcy
oh oh oh Colin Firth
you wily old bastard, you wonderful specimen
you've messed up the hearts of young girls round the earth
-

When you meet a gentleman hailing from England
Don't be so impressed; hold on to your heart
Just because someone has a british accent
Does not mean they're witty or decent or smart.

When a boy treats you with tasteful indifference
When he is hansom but bristly and cold
Don't be intrigued just because he's ignoring you
Not every asshole has a heart of gold
---
Oh oh oh Mr. Darcy
oh oh oh Colin Firth
you wily old bastard, you wonderful specimen
you've messed up the hearts of young girls round the earth

Oh oh oh Mr. Darcy
oh oh oh colin firth
you're tall dark and hansom
you're charming and wonderful
No other men are worth half what you're worth
Track Name: Perfect One For Me (Demo)
When I come home to you here every night
I know that something needs to change, this just doesn't feel right
it isn't something wrong with you, tho'if I could speak with candor
I think it's about time I raised my standards.

I don't deny we have a good connection
I like it when you flatter me with showers of affection
you make me happy when you are so sweet
it doesn't raise my self-esteem to be loved by a deadbeat


for now you are the perfect one for me
for now you are everything I need
if I would spend the energy I'd find someone way better
but for now you are as high as I dare to reach


I love the way you sit here on the couch
I love the little sounds you make when you're being a grouch
I like the way you are right now but it's time that I confessed
but if I'm still with you in a year I'll be so darn depressed

You say the right things every time you speak
and I love the way you give a hug and kiss me on the cheek
I feel so comfortable with you; and you feel good with me
but I want to change and then move on; this is no way to be.

for now you are the perfect one for me
for now you are everything I need
if I would spend the energy I'd find someone way better
but for now you are as high as I care to reach
Track Name: Ironically (Demo)
Your jeans are way too tight and your sweatshirt's got a christmas tree
under that's a full back tattoo of your powder blue fixie
and it's not because you like these things: it's a joke only hipsters see.
I wish I'd known you looked at love with that same philosophy

I have been such a fool how did I not see
that you only love me ironically

You love my nerdy glasses -- but I need them to see
and it's not a matter of image that I got a job at the library
no I actually like star trek that was not supposed to be funny
and I'm not pretending when I act like I don't have any money

I have been such a fool how did I not see
that you only love me ironically

this realization came after a time of great reflection
noticing all you own and do has a strange off-tilt perfection
how do I fit in to your "ugly stuff" obsession
I am just an accessory in your irony collection

I have been such a fool how did I not see
that you only love me ironically

I'm not going to tell you I'm leaving -- it is long past time to desert
and I can't look into the sad sad eyes of the kittens on your t-shirt
without any real feelings I know you won't be hurt
call me up if you find the real world and finally want to convert

I have been such a fool how did I not see
that you only love me ironically
Track Name: Will They or Won't They? (Demo)
You and I are kinda like
Romeo and Juliet
In that I am romantic and sweet
and you're an immature loser
With friend who are unreasonably violent
You and I are kinda like
Castle and Becket
in that I am a total badass with extremely good looks
and you tend to say the wrong thing

In all of those stories we want to know
Will they or won't they
but with us, I know the answer….
we won't.
In all of those stories we want to know
Will they or won't they
but with us, I know the answer….
we won't.

You and I are kinda like
Jim and Pam season 1
in that I have a job and boyfriend
and you have a kinda weird thing with jello
You and I are kinda like
Booth and Dr. Brennan
In that I like dinosaurs and have a really great mind
and all you care about is murder

You and I are kinda like
Starbuck and Apollo
In that after all this
this going to end in an anticlimactic way
You and I are kinda like
Starbuck and Apollo
In that after all this
unresolved sexual tension
and emotional investment
and time and money
this going to end in an anticlimactic way

You and I are kinda like
Mulder and Scully
In that you're paranoid, and even when you're right
I look like the smart one
You and I are kinda like
Counselor Troi and Riker
In that I'm good at what I do and you are usually useless
(see I switched it up that time…)

In all of those stories we want to know
Will they or won't they
but with us, I know the answer….
we won't.In all of those stories we want to know
Will they or won't they
but with us, I know the answer….
we won't.
Track Name: Hollywood Raptor (Demo)
You're not the right shape
and you're not the right size
you don't get along with others
but you need to realize

That the actors in the movies
are not what you're sposed to be
but you are great the way you are
you are you, that's best, you see

We've all been looking for role models
and turned our eyes to hollywood
but that's not where to find them
look to yourself, yes, that is good

It's ok.. velociraptor
don't be sad.. velociraptor

you're the size of a turkey not a lion
you can't turn a know and don't have friends to rely on
the movies have created an unattainable expectation
the raptors in those films were an fictional creation

don't judge yourself too hard velociraptor
you are good the way you are velociraptor
Track Name: Be My Stalker (Demo)
You never seem to notice me anymore
Have you moved on to another or have you gotten bored
I must have thrown you off? did I change my routine
Or have you just forgotten how to cut up magazines?

My paranoia's slipping away
It has been at least 2 weeks since the last day
you made a single update to your "secret" shrine
There's no new creepy poetry there for me to find

I don't need you to be my stalker
I can tell myself my hair smells nice
I can watch myself through my own window
and call and hang up late at night

I don't need you to be my stalker
I can follow my own self home
And never let me be alone

My cat's the only one watching me sleep
there's no reason to go out if you don't follow me
It just doesn't seem to matter; you're not recording what I wear
and all the clothes out on the line are disappointingly still there

I don't need you to be my stalker
I can follow my own self home
And never let me be alone
( never let me be alone / please don't make me be alone )
Track Name: Worst Superpower Ever (Demo)
would you rather have flight or invisibility?
Would you rather be a brave blind man with the ability to see
would you like to be able to rapidly change size
or would you rather be able to squirt blood out of your eyes

that would be the worst superpower ever
the worst superpower ever
that would be the worst superpower ever

would you rather stop time, or never need to breathe
would you rather have your one weakness to be a really well-known thing
what if you were lactose intolerant but could make things taste like cheese?
or if you had the power to induce a slight fatigue.

that would be the worst superpower ever
the worst superpower ever
that would be the worst superpower ever

would you rather have an extra hand or run real fast and far
or would you like to be really rich and drive an awesome car
would you rather be able to create an invisible chair?
or the ability to always predict what someone else will wear

that would be the worst superpower ever
the worst superpower ever
that would be the worst superpower ever
Track Name: Don't you love me? (Demo)
I thought today we could go shopping
and buy new towels for our new bathroom
I mean, I know it's my apartment, but you'll be over all the time
So I think it's safe to call it "our bathroom."
But you say you don't want to go, you'd rather go somewhere else with your friends.
You'd really make me go shopping on my own? Really?

Well, I suppose that's fine, I guess that's ok, if that's what you really want that's great.
But don't you want me to be happy? Don't you love me?

I brought over some DVDs, a new season of Glee...
I thought we could watch on your TV!
Doesn't football happen every week? Besides, I did your dishes, so you kinda owe me.
So... it's the superbowl today? Your friends are coming, they're on the way?
Did you even think of me when you made these plans?

Well, I suppose that's fine, I guess that's ok, if that's what you really want that's great.
But don't you want me to be happy? Don't you love me?

You never invite me to the bar with your friends, don't you like it when I'm with you?
I can't believe you thought it was embarrassing just because I called you kitten.
I thought you liked that nickname, I thought it was a symbol of how we were comfortable with each other ... ... ... because I love you.

Well, I suppose that's fine, I guess that's ok, if that's what you really want that's great.
But I thought you wanted me to be happy? I thought you loved me? Don't you love me?
Track Name: Lonely Like Me (Demo)
Happy Valentine's Day
Do you remember when we used to go out?
Happy Valentine's Day
Do you remember before we had that falling out?

Do you remember when I could look into your eyes
without the taste of vomit in my mouth

I'm not you're biggest fan, you might say
In fact, I think you could definitely say that
I hope life wipes that smirk right off your face
and I hope life makes you sad
And lonely like me...
Lonely like me.
Track Name: Godzilla (Demo)
Leaves grow on the trees each spring
and in winter fall to the ground again
If I were a leaf I'd grow on a tree
If you were a leaf then you would hurt me.

There's nothing wrong with me--you just broke my heart
Now hold me close so I don't fall apart

A metaphor for you and me:
You are the changing seasons, I'm a fish far from the sea
You are a thunder cloud and I'm a tall, dead tree
You are Godzilla, baby... and I am me

There's nothing wrong with me--you just broke my heart
Now hold me close so I don't punch your face
There's nothing wrong with me--you just broke my heart
Now hold me close so I don't punch your face
Track Name: I Hate Beatboxing (Demo)
Tuesday night, it's happy hour
Where all the cool co-workers go to enjoy
A couple drinks; a couple extra
It's fun for every lady and boy

But it gets late
it's time to hit it
We all walk outside arm-in-arm
And someone starts
A little ditty
We all join in; it's our favorite song...

The worst thing you could do right now is Beatbox
When we're all so happy and having fun
I know there's music
I know there's no drums
I know what you want to do is go bum bum.. (beatboxing)
(Oh no, please don't!)

Another night, another restaurant
Congratulations on scoring this first date
You order drinks; you order nachos
And there's an awkward silence while you wait (silence)

The worst thing you could do right now is Beatbox
When you're both so nervous and not yet drunk
I know there's music
I know there's no drums
I know what you want to do... don't go bum bum.. (beatboxing)
(Oh no, please don't!)
Track Name: Noob Cannon (Demo)
Welcome to our server, Leetboi92
I don't know if we have ever played with you
10 seconds in the round and I'm already dead
You killed me with one shot but it wasn't in the head

Noob Cannon, you've got the Noob Cannon
Noob Cannon, you've got the Noob Cannon
We will kick you out if you don't shortly stop
Yeah you killed me but you're using the Awp
Yeah you killed me but you're using the Awp

Welcome to our server, Leetboi92
I don't know if we have ever played with you
10 seconds in the round and I'm already dead
You killed me with one shot but it wasn't in the head

Noob Cannon, you've got the Noob Cannon
Noob Cannon, you've got the Noob Cannon
We will kick you out if you don't shortly stop
You killed me with one shot but you're using the Awp
Yeah you killed me but you're using the Awp
Track Name: Apostrophe (Demo)
You're misunderstood
and when you're used, you are abused or just ignored
Yours is a lonely, crowded life

You sit along between
and watch them not know to treat you
Hoes does no one understand ... how..

it must suck to be an apostrophe
I would not like to be an apostrophe
I do not want to be an apostrophe
like you

Its/it's hard to be
it is hard to be
or hard belongs to it, to be
it makes a difference in the end

I bet you would rather be part of a quotation mark so you could have a friend
who understands

it must suck to be an apostrophe
I would not like to be an apostrophe
I do not want to be an apostrophe
like you