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lyrics

When I was 6 I wore a red-and-white dress and the neighbor kids called me minnie mouse
But the neighbor kids were the only ones I was allowed to invite to my house
So my friends would be my friends, as long as we were not at school
where they’d treat me like garbage to make them seem cool
And I’m bitter, I’m still a little bit bitter…

In middle school my parents thought I should hang out with kids who weren’t so male
And then some girls tried to lock me in a bathroom while they watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail
- and after 10 years, most-of-me has grown up and moved on
- but a little bit still wants them to admit that they were wrong
And that’s not helping, it’s really not helping

I still hear the voices saying no one likes me
And sometimes I believe them, even now
I can’t forget the taste of that pain and that fear
but I dilute those bad memories with more good ones every year
and I’m bitter, but it is over

I spent my high school years overcompensating for my insecurity and that was lame
I burnt more bridges than a retreating army, and I was lonely, and I had myself to blame
And senior year, my boyfriend told me that my friends
didn’t really like me, it was just pretended…
and that hurt, he was kind of a jerk

I try to live my life without regrets
And I try pretty hard to just forget
because it doesn’t help to think about all my young strife
I know that I’m great today because of that hell
but I think I could have been a happy kid as well
And still made something positive out of my life

I still hear the voices saying no one likes me
And sometimes I believe them, even now
I can’t forget the taste of that pain and that fear
but I dilute those bad memories with more good ones every year
and I’m bitter, but it is over

But there’s nobody flawless who can cast the first stone
I’ve got a bucket full of rocks here that are never getting thrown
I can picture the classroom where I made a girl cry
I don't remember how I did it and I don't remember why
But a bully isn’t thinking, she’s an anger-feelings blur
and like a snake, she's more afraid of you than you could be of her
and that doesn’t make it better, doesn’t make it right

I still hear the voices saying no one likes me
And sometimes I believe them, even now
I can’t forget the taste of that pain and that fear
but I dilute those bad memories with more good ones every year
and I’m sorry, and I’m glad it is over

credits

from Weekly Song Wednesday, track released November 27, 2013

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The Doubleclicks Portland, Oregon

The Doubleclicks - Laser Malena-Webber and Aubrey Turner, also known as musical duo the Doubleclicks write songs about dinosaurs, cats, anxiety, and queer feelings on the cello and guitar, and welcome you to imagine the name of that genre. Their latest project is a musical, "Teaching a Robot to Love," which is a sci-fi story about the trans experience. ... more

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