Internet Troll

from Dimetrodon by The Doubleclicks



You were told, back in the day,
If you don't have anything nice to say to keep quiet.
Don't be a jerk, don't devalue the work
Someone's done, even if you don't like it

I was told, back in the day,
You can judge a man by the way that he treats others
To find someone nice; there is all this advice
So a girl doesn't find herself being used

But both you and I resist control
And neither of us did the things we were told, and

I love you, even though you are an Internet troll
There's something about you that I want to know
It's the way that you write, so offensive and trite
With such passion; it's sort of appealing

I love you, even though you're a commenter from Hell
The predictable way you don't know how to spell
And you're hateful, disgusting, ungrateful
Like you don't understand other people have feelings

I feel like you don't even know
If you don't enjoy a YouTube video
You can stop it. You don't have to watch it.
Your ignorance is just amazing.

It seems like you've never heard
That if media doesn't speak your words
You can make something new, express your view
It's a delight how you're so darn lazy

The Internet makes you feel so empowered
You almost forget you're a stupid coward

I love you, even though you are an Internet troll
Online you've got no self-control
And the things that you say aren't OK
Even when you're anonymous at a distance

I love you even though you're a commenter from Hell
The magical way you get angry so well
And so quickly, you're zero to 60
But I've got admire your persistence

We were told, back in the day
That if someone's a bully that's because they
Are sad with themselves, they're broken and need help
And they put others down so that they feel better

And yes, that is true
I know you are hateful because you completely lack value
But I still like you
I bet you'd know how to fix my computer

It makes you happy when others are sad
It's cute how you blame the world for making you feel bad

I love you even though you are an Internet troll
Even though you're deeply sad and alone
And you're mean. You act like you're thirteen
Boy, you do wonders for my self-esteem


from Dimetrodon, released June 10, 2014




The Doubleclicks Portland, Oregon

The Doubleclicks are a pair of siblings who sing about cats, dinosaurs, and feelings.
The Doubleclicks' clever brand of nerdy folk music has been called "relentlessly likable" and "face-meltingly wry."
Their fans tend to be software developers, writers and their loved ones, as well as anyone who loves Star Trek, grammar, dinosaurs or video games.
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