No Easy Way To Say This

from by The Doubleclicks

/

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You've made a generous offer and I wish I could accept it
But I'm afraid to say you've asked me on imperfect information
I'm a danger to you and others and while I'd love to be your girlfriend
There is something you should know that introduces complications

There's no easy way to say this
but I think that I'm a vampire
My teeth are getting pointy and I stay up late at night
I don't think that you could take it
if I turned into a vampire
so you'll have to find a different date to prom.

I have mixed feelings about this entire situation
Now that I know what's happening I do feel some relief
I hate to have to hurt you, but I know that you will thank me
when my horrific and powerful transition is complete

There's no easy way to say this
but I think that I'm a zombie
I'm feeling rather sluggish and getting bored with normal food
I don't think that you could take it
if I turned into a zombie
so you'll have to find a different date to prom.

You might think that there's a different explanation
for these symptoms in a normal phenomenon
You may say that I'm getting strange ideas
from the books I read or forums I post on
But those are your excuses
Crazy stories you come up with because you're scared
This relationship is over
I can't be with you; you should give thanks that you've been spared

There's no easy way to say this
but I think that I'm Cthulu
I am longing for the ocean and so very very tired
I don't think that you could take it
if I turned into cthulu
so you'll have to find a different date to prom.
please just ask a different girl to prom

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from Blatant Pandering, released August 25, 2011

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The Doubleclicks Portland, Oregon

The Doubleclicks are a pair of siblings who sing about cats, dinosaurs, and feelings.
The Doubleclicks' clever brand of nerdy folk music has been called "relentlessly likable" and "face-meltingly wry."
Their fans tend to be software developers, writers and their loved ones, as well as anyone who loves Star Trek, grammar, dinosaurs or video games.
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