President Snakes

by The Doubleclicks

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $10 USD  or more

     

  • Buy Physical CD for $10 on Topatoco.com!

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
02:50
6.
7.
8.
03:46
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
(free) 02:00

about

President Snakes produced by The Doubleclicks, 2015

Produced with the help and collaboration of the Doubleclicks community of friends and listeners, who come to our shows, watch our videos and support us in our endeavors. We are humbled and grateful for your support.

Special thanks to our wonderful Kickstarter backers.

Lyrics & tour dates at www.thedoubleclicks.com

credits

released August 11, 2015

All songs written and performed by Angela Webber and Aubrey Webber, except "The Middle," written by James Adkins, Thomas D Linton, Richard Burch and Zachary Lind and published by WB Music Corp Obo Turkey On Rye.

Mastered by Jonathan Wyner.
Album art & design by Lindsay Ishihiro: www.chaoslindsay.ca

tags

license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

about

The Doubleclicks Portland, Oregon

The Doubleclicks are a pair of Portland-based sisters who sing about Dungeons and Dragons, Mr. Darcy, and Dinosaurs.
The Doubleclicks' clever brand of nerdy folk music has been called "relentlessly likable" and "face-meltingly wry."
Their fans tend to be software developers, writers and their loved ones, as well as anyone who loves Star Trek, grammar, dinosaurs or video games.
... more

shows

contact / help

Contact The Doubleclicks

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Track Name: Tiny Paper Elephant
There's a tiny paper elephant
With a tiny paper friend
And they don't know what they're doing on the table

There's a larger kind of elephant
And it lives inside of you
And it knows that you can make it
If you hit the follow-through…

It is a mystery
Everyone's got something going on these days
And we don't have all the answers
For the questions that are raised…
But you can do it.

There's a kiwi with a scarf on
There's a bird that looks surprised
And they know that you will get there in your time
There's a mislabeled Kenobi
There's a can wearing a tie
And they know that life can feel like you're a Jedi with no wine

But don't worry if it's not the same
If you never see the sign
'Cause the things that make you different
Are what really make you shine

You're a unique combination
You're the sum of all your parts
You're an egg with great potential
And it's not too late to start

So when you think of something peculiar
That's when you take your chance
'Cause the weirdest stuff's your moment
You take that kick in the pants

You won't know quite when it's perfect
And you might still see the seams
Just ride that elephant inside you
To the goalpost of your dreams

'Cause you can do it.
We know you can do it.
We all know you can do it.
Track Name: Cats At Parties
I'm gonna tell you what you need to party right
It's the new craze, it's the way, every night
Put some pants on and drive up to the party house
And suddenly remember that you don't like going out

Yeah, you're still a weirdo; well, imagine that
Here is your solution: go and find the host's cat

Hanging with cats at parties
Party party
It's the new movement—why don't you join me?
We don't want your judgment and we don't need your pity
This is where I wanna be
Hanging out with cats at parties

Walk into the party like "no thanks, I'll keep my coat"
Ending conversations with a nice Taylor Swift quote
And saying things like "I don't like local beer"
Scanning every corner for the reason you are here

There is a cat, so I'm not technically alone now
Don't tell me to smile; I am in my comfort zone now
Yes, I'm having fun; I don't need a drink
This is way more comfortable than you probably think

Hanging with cats at parties
Party party
It's the new movement—why don't you join me?
We don't want your judgment and we don't need your pity
This is where I wanna be
Hanging out with cats at parties

A cat is not a bigot or a sexist
A cat could care less if you even exist
Unless you're giving it treats, it will just stare at you
And that's the kind of friend that I want—what can I do?

Our numbers grow out of nowhere like mitosis
We're all slowly contracting toxoplasmosis.
We don't need your shame; our life is better 'cause it's lame
And tonight's just about one thing

Hanging with cats at parties
Party party
It's the new movement—why don't you join me?
We don't want your judgment and we don't need your pity
This is where I wanna be
Hanging out with cats at parties
Hanging out with cats at parties
Hanging out with cats at parties
Track Name: Really Big Chickens
Growing up isn't fast
In fact, it's so slow that you don't see it happen
I turned around one day to find
I work a job and I need to file taxes

But I still like fun
And I still like games
And I still wanna know all the dinosaurs' names

Dinosaurs were just really, really big chickens
Growing up is just being a really big kid

I don't feel old, and I don't feel together
Or like I'm one of the herd
I feel like I just missed a whole week of class
Where they learned how to cook and how not to be awkward

I need a YouTube tutorial
That shows how to get me the life that I'm after
I'm just gonna be that one girl who will tell you
That thing's too big to be a velociraptor

Dinosaurs were just really, really big chickens
Growing up is just being a really big kid

Time goes by quickly now
A lot has changed since I was a kid
There used to be something called a "brontosaurus"
And dinosaurs didn't have feathers, but now we're pretty sure that they did

Covered in feathers, weird
It's gonna be OK

Dinosaurs were just really, really big chickens
Growing up is just being a really big kid
Track Name: President Snakes (Part 1)
Two heads are better than one
And she’s got way more than two so she can get the job done
Four of them are working if one takes a break
Vote for five snakes in one pantsuit— vote for President Snakes

President Snakes
President Snakes
Rocking the campaign trail, it's President Snakes
She is giving speeches and a lot of handshakes
She runs a clean campaign, that ol' President Snakes

President Snakes
President Snakes
Winning in the swing states, it’s President Snakes
'cause her rhetoric is honest and she’s laid out the stakes
If you wanna vote for freedom, vote for President Snakes

President Snakes
President Snakes
Losing the election, it’s President Snakes
It isn't what she wanted, but it's not a mistake
There is nobody more positive than President Snakes
Track Name: The Middle
Hey
Don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out
Or looked down on
Just try your best
Try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away

It just takes some time
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right

Hey
You know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own
So don't buy in
Live right now
Yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough
For someone else

It just takes some time
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right

Hey
Don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out
Or looked down on
Just do your best
Do everything you can
And don't you worry what their bitter hearts
Are gonna say

It just takes some time
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right

It just takes some time
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right
All right
Track Name: This Is My Jam
I like to eat toast with jam
You like to eat eggs and ham
And if you're in, we can be friends
'Cause I don't have a problem with ham

I like to wear sweaters and skirts too
I like to do just what I want to
And if you don't like what I do with my life
Well, that's great, 'cause I didn't ask you

This is my jam
This is my jam
This is my toast, this is my knife
And this is my jam

This is my jam
This is my jam
This is my song, this is my life
And this is my jam

I'm gonna do this, and if you don't wanna do this,
I'm gonna find somebody who wants to do this
'Cause I am a person and you are a person
You should want what you want, long as nobody's hurtin'

You're not gonna tell me the songs I should write
And you're not gonna tell me my clothes are too tight
'Cause I'm gonna love doing all my own stuff
And that love's gotta come from inside

This is my jam
This is my jam
This is my toast, this is my knife
And this is my jam

This is my jam
This is my jam
This is my song, this is my life
And this is my jam

I'd like to be eating breakfast with people that I like
With no one telling me the things they think I should do with my life

And like John Green tells us to imagine others complexly
I won't judge you, 'cause what you like has nothing to do with me
Track Name: Bad Memories
When I was six, I wore a red-and-white dress and the neighbor kids called me Minnie Mouse
But the neighbor kids were the only ones I was allowed to invite to my house
So my friends would be my friends, as long as we were not at school
Where they'd treat me like garbage to make them seem cool
And I'm bitter, I'm still a little bit bitter...

In middle school, my parents thought I should hang out with kids who weren't so male
And then some girls tried to lock me in the bathroom while they watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail
And after ten years, most of me has grown up and moved on
But a little bit still wants them to admit that they were wrong
And that's not helping, that's really not helping

I still hear the voices saying that no one likes me
And sometimes I believe them, even now
I can't forget the taste of that pain and that fear
But I dilute those bad memories with more good ones every year
And I'm bitter, but it is over

I spent my high school years overcompensating for my insecurity and that was lame
I burnt more bridges than a retreating army, and I was lonely, and I had myself to blame
Senior year, my boyfriend told me that my friends
Didn't really like me, it was all pretend...
And that hurt; he was kind of a jerk

I try to live my life without regrets
And I try pretty hard to just forget
'Cause it doesn't help me to think about all my young strife
I know I'm great today because of all of that hell
But I think I could have been a happy kid as well
And still made something positive out of my life

But there's nobody flawless who can cast the first stone
I've got a bucket full of rocks here that are never getting thrown
I still remember the classroom where I made a girl cry
I don't remember how I did it and I don't remember why
But a bully isn't thinking; she's an anger-feelings blur
And like a snake, she's more afraid of you than you could be of her
But that doesn't make it better, that doesn't make it right

I still hear the voices saying that no one likes me
And sometimes I believe them, even now
I can't forget the taste of that pain and that fear
But I dilute those bad memories with more good ones every year
And I'm sorry, and I'm glad it is over.
Track Name: President Snakes (Part 2)
What does it mean
To be a snake
What does it mean
To be a politician
I've only got the best intentions
But that's not all it takes

'Cause I am snakes
And I am working for the good of us
But that requires a little trust
And who can trust,
Who can trust
A snake?
Track Name: Now I Am The Fastest
Mushroom clouds rise, acid rain falls
There aren't any footsteps these days
It's been thirteen hours since the crushing defeat
And the last ones turned dust and fillets

I am all alone, there is no one else living
It's a tragedy, but I'll get past it
I'll try to look on the bright side today
Finally, I am the fastest

After three decades of nuclear fallout
And galaxy-wide laser war
The evacuation was mostly complete
And then came the poisonous spores

Now they're all gone, I've been left here to die
But my plan is to outlast it
Now that there's no one to get in my way
Finally, I am the fastest

They used to tease me, they'd giggle and yell
Because I was always last place
But the radiation bounced right off my shell
I guess slow and steady ended up winning the race

Now that there's no one to get in my way
Finally, I am the fastest
Track Name: Why Can't Every City Be Portland?
Why can't every city be Portland
Whey can't everywhere be like here
It's the place that I like,
All the folks unicycle
They're carrying bottles of beer

Why can't every city be PDX
Where we're not unemployed; we've got our own projects
We're keepin' it weird
And every guy with a beard
Has a few pairs of horn-rimmed specs

It's not our original home sweet home,
But we do like the Romans,
'cause we're sort of in Rome
We bike in the lane
Treating cars with disdain,
And pretend we don't know that it always rains

Why can't every city be Portland
Where the irony is big as our trees
It's no longer intriguin'
That everyone's vegan
And nobody owns a TV

Why can't every space be Portlandia's place
Where even the lawyers are pierced on their face
Where we'll all DIY
Till the day that we die
And we live at a comfortable pace

It's not our original home sweet home,
But we do like the Romans,
'cause we're sort of in Rome
You've got kombucha, we'll try it
If it's on Craigslist, we'll buy it
And if you find a new neighborhood, we'll gentrify it

Why can't every city be Portland
Where we don't know how lucky we are
We buy booze without tax
And we hop on the MAX
For a cheap ride down to the bar

Why can't every old stone be this temperate zone
Where our future as grown-ups is sort of postponed
We might move to L.A.
Or Seattle someday
But first we have to pay off our student loans
Track Name: Coming Home To You
I rolled initiative
When I woke up today
And I didn't do that well
But I had to get up anyway

Our ride was in the parking lot
A rental car so new
And we drove and drove and drove and drove
And drove and drove some, too

We played a show for people
And we shook a lot of hands
And we role-played in this game we call "successful touring band"
In the evening, I crawled into bed at 10 or 12 or 2
And I wished that I was coming home to you

I ate Chipotle
For the second time for dinner
It was not the only option,
But man, it was a winner

In the car we sang along
To Katy Perry and Pharrell
Until the radio was static
And then we got to the hotel

I sent a lot of emails
And I made a lot of plans
And we role-played in this game we call "successful touring band"
In the evening, I crawled into bed at 10 or 12 or 2
And I wished that I was coming home to you

Don't say that I don't love this life
You would be wrong
'Cause every show is wonderful
Though every day is long
And when the energy from meeting all those awesome nerds is through
I just wish that I was coming home to you

In the future, I will teleport
Till then I will make do
And I'll wish that I was coming home to you
Track Name: Thank God It's Over
Today's the day, today I've won
With a diploma or a paycheck
I'm officially done

I have accomplished, I have done great
It's time for pride and satisfaction
Time for me to celebrate

Thank God it's over; I turned it in
And now I never ever have to look at that stuff again
I did my best, I should be proud
But I just want to run away; oops, did I say that out loud?

Feels like I lost part of my soul in there
It was a pool of stress, fear, and despair
But I survived; yes, I survived

There were mistakes and there was doubt
Thought I would die before I got out
But I got out alive

Thank God it's over; everything's fine
I forgot how nice the world was on the other side of deadline
I turned it in, and now it's gone
And I have got no regrets, 'cause I can finally move on

I can't believe I made it here
Did the best work of my career
But please don't look for me, I will be nappin'

I thought that my first reaction
Would be creative satisfaction
But I just want to forget this ever happened

Thank God it's over; thank God it's through
I'm proud and tired and angry and stressed and worn out and I've put strain on all my relationships and I don't know what the future holds and it's possible I've lost all direction
But at least I have got no more work to do