Yeah your friend Wil, he’s got a beard and a show it’s Tabletop, he makes it with my buddy Bo. We were minding our business when they called us one day— said, “We want you on the show! do you wanna come play?” uh yes, duh of course, but we’ve gotta brush up We’re behind on our gaming and we don’t wanna look rough How do we practice? Aubrey says: “I know We’ll play every game they’ve ever played on the show” And we did. We played them. Then we did it again and we’re ready for anything so, bring it on friend cause we know these board games from A to Z and you can bring your best, but you won’t beat the DCs We’re Playin Tabletop Games Who’s ready for some Tabletop Games You wanna try Tsuro? we’ll wipe the floor with you and in Munchkin we’ll kick down a door with you “What’s next?” it’s Get Bit by Dave Chalker you’ll lose so many limbs you’ll fit in a locker You’ll want a Ticket to Ride out of this room when we’re racking up points in Keith Baker’s Gloom Hey that Elder Sign’s broken, bro can you fix it? We need it to say that we crushed you at Dixit And at Small World: you thought this would be fun? our skills are so rad, we could win in round one you have Alhambra did you bring Zombie Dice? we don’t need to cheat but we won’t play nice We’re Playin Tabletop Games Who’s ready for some Tabletop Games When we’re done playing Settlers of Catan you won’t know the difference from Carcassone Castle Panic? that’s co-op, for us that’s a cage We’d rather send you back to the Dragon Age it’s a Fiasco. you can cry or Say Anything Last Night On Earth and we’re in it to a win a thing. it’s a Pandemic. I’d Wager your Wits are week If you think you’re ready to step to Chez Geek. We’re Playin Tabletop Games Who’s ready for some Tabletop Games Aubrey and Angela why you doing this  Taking a good friendship and ruining it Man I thought I was cool with this Deckbuilding, role playing and I’m rolling some dice They made me bet all my money, made me pledge my life Because I showed up with Monopoly  When Angela and Aubrey gave me an instruction book and glossary And I guess I lost, see, that’s what they’re telling me So never mess with the doublec’s at the double t, it’s trouble see Once upon a time you thought you could win but now you’re smashed up-that’s a game by paul peterson Let’s get you rested up and some Qwirkle in you and check your Resistance on games for season 2 There are shadows over Camelot and Tsuro in the Seas and we are the ones with the fortune and glory Takenoko time, we’ll eat all your bamboo and in formula D a winner’s not you How about King of Tokyo, do you like Japan? I think you’ll find for you it’s a forbidden Island Star Wars X-Wing and Star Trek Catan Lords of Vegas or Waterdeep, just bring it right on cause in 12 days you’ll be blabbin unspeakable words by my friends james and mike, some of my favorite nerds You wanna be our friend too? I don’ think thank you will when you’re getting betrayed at the house on the hill We’re Playin Tabletop Games Who’s ready for some Tabletop Games So we got to the studio, time to make some TV they have lights, they’ve got cameras, and my sister and me And we played a game! (so how did it go?) I guess you’ll have to watch the episode if you wanna know We’re Playin Tabletop Games Who’s ready for some Tabletop Games

Today’s the day, today I’ve won with a diploma or a paycheck I am officially done I have accomplished, I have done…great It’s time for pride and satisfaction it’s time for me to celebrate… thank god it’s over, I turned it in and now I never ever have to look at that stuff again I did my best, I should be proud but I just want to run away, oops did I say it out loud feels like I lost part of my soul in there it was a pool of stress, fear and despair but I survived, yes I survived there were mistakes and there was doubt thought I would die before I got out but I got out alive thank god it’s over—everything’s fine I forgot how nice the world was on the other side of deadline I turned it in—and now it’s gone and now I’ve got no regrets cause I can finally move on I can’t believe I made it here I did the best work of my career but please don’t look for me I will be nappin’ I thought that my fist reaction would be creative satisfaction but I just wanna forget this ever happened Thank god it’s over Thank god it’s through I’m proud and tired and angry and stressed and worn out and I’ve put strain on all of my relationships and I don’t know what the future holds and it’s possible I’ve lost all direction but at least I have got no more work to do —

I’m gonna tell you what you need to party right it’s the new craze, it’s the way, every night put some pants on and drive up to the party house suddenly remember why you don’t like going out yeah, you're still a weirdo, well imagine that here is your solution: GO AND FIND THE HOST’S CAT Hanging with cats at parties: Party parties it’s the new movement why don’t you join me? we don’t want your judgement and we don’t need your pity this is where I wanna be hanging out with cats at parties Walk into the party like "no thanks I’ll keep my coat" Ending conversations with a nice taylor swift quote and saying things like “I don’t like local beer” Scanning every corner for the reason you are here There is a cat, so I'm not, technically alone—now Don’t tell me to smile I am in my comfort zone—now Yes I’m having fun I don’t, need a drink This is way more comfortable than you probably think a cat is not a racist or a sexist a cat could care less if you even exist unless you’re giving it treats, it’ll just stare at you you and that’s the kind of friend that we want, what can we do Our numbers grow out of nowhere like mitosis We’re all slowly contracting Toxoplasmosis. we don’t need your shame, life is better when it’s lame and tonight’s just about one thing (CHORUS)

C there’s a tiny paper elephant with a tiny paper friend and they don’t know what they’re doing on the table there’s a larger kind of elephant and it lives inside of you and it knows that you can make it F if you hit the follow through… C it’s a mystery everyone’s got something going on these days F and we don’t have all the answers for the questions that are raised…. C but you can do it. C there’s a kiwi with a scarf on there’s a bird that looks surprised and they know that you will get there in your time there’s a mislabeled Kenobi there’s a can wearing a tie F and some days you can feel like you’re a Jedi with no wine G it may not be what you expected and you may not see the sign F cause the things that make you different are what really make you shine C you’re a unique combination you’re the sum of all your parts you’re an egg with great potential and it’s not too late to start F so when you think of something peculiar that’s when you take your chance G cause the weirdest stuff’s your moment you take that kick in the pants C you won’t know quite when it’s perfect and you might still see the seams F just ride that elephant inside you to the goalpost of your dreams C cause you can do it. we know you can do it. we all know you can do it.