Weekly Song Wednesday

by The Doubleclicks

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about

Every Wednesday from Sept 25 through the end of 2013, we'll release a new song. Oh crap, we typed that, and now we have to do it.

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released September 25, 2013

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The Doubleclicks Portland, Oregon

The Doubleclicks are a pair of Portland-based sisters who sing about Dungeons and Dragons, Mr. Darcy, and Dinosaurs.
The Doubleclicks' clever brand of nerdy folk music has been called "relentlessly likable" and "face-meltingly wry."
Their fans tend to be software developers, writers and their loved ones, as well as anyone who loves Star Trek, grammar, dinosaurs or video games.
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Track Name: Love Song For An Internet Troll
you were told, back in the day
if you don't have anything nice to say to keep quiet. Don't be a jerk,
don't devalue the work someone's done, even if you don't like it

I was told, back in the day
you can judge a man by the way that he treats others, to find someone nice
there is all this advice so a girl doesn't find herself being used

but both you and I resist control
and neither of us did the things we were told and

I love you, even though you are an internet troll
there's something about you that I want to know
it's the way that you write
so offensive and trite
with such passion it's sort of appealing

I love you, even though you're a commenter from hell
the predictable way you don't know how to spell
and you're hateful
disgusting, ungrateful
like you don't understand, other people have feelings

I feel like you don't even know
if you don't enjoy a youtube video
you can stop it. you don't have to watch it.
your ignorance is just amazing.

it seems like you've never heard
that if media doesn't speak your words
you can make something new, express your view
it's a delight how you're so darn LAZY

the internet makes you feel so empowered
you almost forget you're a stupid coward

I love you, even though you are an internet troll
online you've got no self-control
the things that you say aren't OK
even when you're anonymous at a distance

I love you even though you're a commenter from hell
the magical way you angry so well
and so quickly, you're zero to 60
But I've got admire your persistence

We were told, back in the day
that if someone's a bully that's because they
are sad with themselves, they're broken and need help
and they put others down so they feel better

and yes, that is true
I know you are hateful because you completely lack value
but I still like you
I bet you'd know how to fix my computer

It makes you happy when others are sad
It's cute how you blame the world for making you feel bad

I love you even though you are an internet troll
even though you're deeply sad and alone
and you're mean
you act like you're thirteen
boy, you do wonders for my self-esteem
Track Name: Dimetrodon
When I wake up on the wrong side of the planet
and the creamer for my coffee has gone bad
and the people on the streets should really can it
cause I don't think they would like me when I'm mad

Down at the bottom, I have a secret trick
I have a thing to bring me up when I am low
it's simple and it's easy and it's real quick
and it went extinct two hundred million years ago

Dimetrodon
They ate sharks and were 10 feet long
Dimetrodon
it's a thought that I can count on

When my darkest thoughts have got a hold on me
I close my eyes and I remember all their giant teeth
to shake off all the problems I've piled on
I picture the sail-backed giants of Dimetrodon

I am walking in a mall or in an airport
and I'm filling up with loneliness and fear
like I'm not really a member of this species
and I don't think I am special, I'm just weird

when I am feeling this, one thing will make me smile
there are other folks who never quite fit in
they're kinda mammals but they look like reptiles
but I bet that difference never bothered them


Dimetrodon
They ate sharks and were 10 feet long
Dimetrodon
it's a thought that I can count on
When my darkest thoughts have got a hold on me
I close my eyes and I remember all their giant teeth
to shake off all the problems I have piled on
I picture the sail-backed giants of Dimetrodon

be yourself
count on your inner strength
find your people
hunt the weak

Dimetrodon
They ate sharks and were 10 feet long
Dimetrodon
it's a thought that I can count on
When my darkest thoughts have got a hold on me
I close my eyes and I remember all their giant teeth
to shake off all the problems I have piled on
I picture the sail-backed giants of Dimetrodon
Dimetrodon, Dimetrodon
Track Name: Cats and Netflix
I'm giving up on certain things like bicycles and gardening
and walking to the grocery store
because the rain has started in the city and though the greenery is pretty
it's not enough to get me out the door

'tis the season now of grey and brown/ of giving up and sitting down
and layering and woo-ly socks
I'm celebrating solitude and eating soup instead of food
and never walking more than seven blocks

Cause I've got cats, and I've got netflix
I've got games, and I've got snack mix
and I am gonna stay indoors for 4 or 5 months or more

I'll have several 5-blanket nights, forget to buy my christmas flights
and procrastinate halloween
as a consolation prize, for heavy clouds that fill the skies
there's pumpkin spice in everything

Every morning it gets darker out, I'm gonna wear these markers out
with all these lists of things I'll never do
And when my motivation's gone, I'll order snacks from Amazon
and try to knit a scarf for you

Cause I've got cats, and I've got netflix
I've got games, and I've got snack mix
and I am gonna stay indoors for 4 or 5 months or more

I've got plans, I'm gonna make things
If I get hungry, I might even bake things
they say fall is only passing through
but I don't really want it to

Cause we've got cats, and we've got netflix
We've got games, and we've got snack mix
and we are gonna stay indoors for 4 or 5 months or more
Track Name: Wonder (Wonder Woman Song)
Leaving home for the first time
You never knew that deals could be so dirty
Never seen so many lies
People hurting out from the inside

you have the strength to save us
you have the power to know right from wrong
spread the truth and set the unsteady
but men in dark suits tell you that people aren't ready

but you're not a quitter. You still believe
the truth's in your lasso, your heart's on your sleeve
when we're drowning in darkness you'll save us all from going under
and we'll watch you in Wonder

welcome to the dirty world
where they will will tell you being strong's not for girls
they'll say that your value is to be easy on the eyes
crush those people to death with your thighs

Men in power aren't who you care about
the city's pain stops when you bring the truth out
though your sisters will tell you mankind can't be saved
you know that inside the weak can be brave

and you're not a quitter. You still believe
the truth's in your lasso, your heart's on your sleeve
when we're drowning in darkness you'll save us all from going under
and we'll watch you in Wonder

when they send you away, you know they'll never forget
And you'll hover above in your invisible jet
when they finally you they'll call you back down
pull on your hot pants and put on your crown

cause you're not a quitter. You still believe
the truth's in your lasso, your hearts on your sleeve
when we're drowning in darkness you'll save us all from going under
and we'll watch you in Wonder
Track Name: Now I Am The Fastest
Mushroom clouds rise, acid rain falls
there aren't any footsteps these days
it's been thirteen hours since the crushing defeat
and the last ones turned dust and fillets

I am all alone, there is no one else living
it's a tragedy, but I'll get past it
I'll try to look on the bright side today
Finally, I am the fastest

I'll try to look on the bright side today
Finally, I am the fastest

After three decades of nuclear fallout
and galaxy-wide laser war
the evacuation was mostly complete
and then came the poisonous spores

Now they're all gone, I've been left here to die
but my plan is to outlast it
Now that there's no one to get in my way
finally, I am the fastest

Now that there's no one to get in my way
Finally, I am the fastest

they used to tease me, giggle and yell
because I was always last place
But the radiation bounced right off my shell
I guess slow and steady ended up winning the race

I'll try to look on the bright side today
Finally, I am the fastest
Track Name: Ode To Spot
Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature;
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.

I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.

A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents;
You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,
It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.

O Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
Track Name: Unstoppable Force
I'm a train traveling at 2a + x
Got a cargo of nothing except my effects
my track isn't laid yet, my plan is still blurry
but I'm moving too fast to remember to worry

you're a train at point y and you have been for years
held in one spot by your justified fears
you have some wisdom, trajectory notes
But I don't recall ever seeking your vote, no

You are not my source
I am not your project
cause I'm an unstoppable force
and you're an immovable object
I'm an unstoppable force
and you're an immovable object

I'm a train tumbling and making mistakes
but my choices are mine, and that's why I have brakes
collisions, reversals, I keep scraping by
I'd rather be wrong than forget how to try

I'm a train trying to find my own way
you've got a lot of trite nonsense to say
there are things that I do, you think should be addressed
and you say the word proud when you should say impressed

Please get off your horse
This is not your project
I'm an unstoppable force
and you're an immovable object

You've got tips on locations You've been there before
You think I shouldn't be on my own anymore
I don't want your tips, I don't care that they're free
you've been around, but you've never been me

I'm a train exiting all of known space
your track's in circles inside that old rat race
I don't know where I'm going, though I certainly care
If I win or I fail I hope you aren't there

if you were creative, productive, or smart
if you demonstrated you knew how to art
I would listen, but you barely leave your own station
You've only got mass, I have acceleration

Find your own darn course
You are off this project
I'm an unstoppable force
and you're an immovable object
Track Name: Desert Bus TV Show Theme
We're driving through the desert on our desert bus
It's gonna take awhile, so come with us
We're driving through the desert on our desert bus
We hope we'll get there someday.

We started off in Tucson, and we are Vegas-bound
The scenery is barren, with no trees or lights or sounds
No, we can't take a little break no matter how you feel
I know you're hungry, bored, and tired, but I have got the wheel.

And we're driving through the desert on our desert bus
It's gonna take awhile, so come with us
We're driving through the desert on our desert bus
We hope we'll get there someday.

The bus needs alignment, it's pulling to the right
But we've got to get there, so we'll drive through the night
Through the night

We're driving through the desert on our desert bus
It's gonna take awhile, so come with us
We're driving through the desert on our desert bus
We hope we'll get there someday.
We hope we'll get there someday.
We hope we'll get there someday.
Track Name: Agent Coulson
Iron Man could charm the pants off of a snorlax
Thor’s abs could basically kill
Captain America is cute like a kitten
And Black Widow has specific skills

But if I had to choose just one
Out of all the heroes in that field
You can keep your Hawkeye & Loki
But I’ll take an agent of SHIELD

Agent Coulson
doing the work that no one sees
Agent Coulson
keeping it cool behind the scenes
you are super
you are super to me

Paperwork and complication
Ties and suits and Iron Man
He’d say things like “I’m just doing my job, m’am.
you need to run while you still can”

I bet his plane always has cell service
and he’d always text a witty reply
He’s reliable and devoted
And apparently he can’t die

Agent Coulson
doing the work that no one sees
Agent Coulson
keeping it cool behind the scenes
you are super
you are super to me

I bet you wish you had a different job
it’s not too fun being the guy that’s sane
Someone else could do the paperwork for once
And you could be the guy jumping out of the plane

Agent Coulson
doing the work that no one sees
Agent Coulson
keeping it cool behind the scenes
you are super
you are super to me
Track Name: Bad Memories
When I was 6 I wore a red-and-white dress and the neighbor kids called me minnie mouse
But the neighbor kids were the only ones I was allowed to invite to my house
So my friends would be my friends, as long as we were not at school
where they’d treat me like garbage to make them seem cool
And I’m bitter, I’m still a little bit bitter…

In middle school my parents thought I should hang out with kids who weren’t so male
And then some girls tried to lock me in a bathroom while they watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail
- and after 10 years, most-of-me has grown up and moved on
- but a little bit still wants them to admit that they were wrong
And that’s not helping, it’s really not helping

I still hear the voices saying no one likes me
And sometimes I believe them, even now
I can’t forget the taste of that pain and that fear
but I dilute those bad memories with more good ones every year
and I’m bitter, but it is over

I spent my high school years overcompensating for my insecurity and that was lame
I burnt more bridges than a retreating army, and I was lonely, and I had myself to blame
And senior year, my boyfriend told me that my friends
didn’t really like me, it was just pretended…
and that hurt, he was kind of a jerk

I try to live my life without regrets
And I try pretty hard to just forget
because it doesn’t help to think about all my young strife
I know that I’m great today because of that hell
but I think I could have been a happy kid as well
And still made something positive out of my life

I still hear the voices saying no one likes me
And sometimes I believe them, even now
I can’t forget the taste of that pain and that fear
but I dilute those bad memories with more good ones every year
and I’m bitter, but it is over

But there’s nobody flawless who can cast the first stone
I’ve got a bucket full of rocks here that are never getting thrown
I can picture the classroom where I made a girl cry
I don't remember how I did it and I don't remember why
But a bully isn’t thinking, she’s an anger-feelings blur
and like a snake, she's more afraid of you than you could be of her
and that doesn’t make it better, doesn’t make it right

I still hear the voices saying no one likes me
And sometimes I believe them, even now
I can’t forget the taste of that pain and that fear
but I dilute those bad memories with more good ones every year
and I’m sorry, and I’m glad it is over
Track Name: It's Working For Me
I’m not very nice
I don’t wash my hair
I won’t come to your place when your parents are there

I won’t call you back
I’ll make fun of your friends
and after date two I won’t bring flowers again

But girl. how could you go?
I’m so charming and sensitive everyone knows
and babe, I know you won’t leave
I’ve got the best trick of all time up my sleeve

It’s not hard to play guitar, but it’s working for me, yeah, it’s working for me

If we have a fight
and I happen to lose
I will turn off my phone and run away from you

I’ll probably cheat on you
more than two times
But I’ll win you back with some torturéd rhymes

And girl, I know it will work
when I make you feel special you forget I’m a jerk
and your friends think that you scored
cause your boyfriend can almost play three different chords

It’s not hard to play guitar, but it’s working for me, yeah, it’s working for me

I wrote you a song
(nanananana)
it goes like this
(nanananana)
I’m the perfect man
(nanananana)
Track Name: Happy Holidays, Too
On the day before the day before Christmas
There's a friend of a friend of a friend
With a ride to the train to the airport
with the gifts you'd forgotten to send

you've never been so good at all this hurry up and wait
And you almost miss your flights while online shopping at the gate
Merry Christmas to everyone who's joining us at gate 30 tonight
and Happy Holidays too

there's a line for the line for the airplane
there's a sports team and some kind of band
you look in your bag for your ticket
it's always been right in your hand

And they're trying to explain why there might be a delay
and you never could be worried about time on holidays

(CHORUS)

The pilot's got a music chip in his tie
and he's making it sing deck the halls
it's somebody's very first airplane ride
she makes a lot of noise for being so small

On the day before the day after New year's
to the plane from the gate from the car
you text your goodbyes as you're boarding
and they're trying to check your guitar

And it's not so very festive, riding airplanes all alone
but it's the only way of celebrating that you've known
Merry Christmas to everyone who's joining us at gate 30 tonight
and Happy Holidays too